Regarding Ranma
by Rain16
Summary: A journal entry by one Nabiki Tendou regarding our favorite waffy couple. [ RA oneshot ]


Disclaimer: I'm a lazy ass, pretend I wrote one. Is that good enough for you?! *runs off cackling madly*

"Regarding Ranma" 

_A Short Journal Entry by One Tendo Nabiki_

by Rain

Dear Journal:

An interesting subject to look into has come to my attention. Well not really, I live with the guy. But I've ignored him lately, so what harm could it do? He could do with some character analysis à la Tendo Nabiki, that's for sure. Besides, I had an interesting day.

So… Ranma Saotome, huh? 

Well, he's cute, I'll give him that. Great body, nice eyes. Pretty tactless, in a word. I used to think it was brainless, although I'm not entirely sure what persuaded me against that theory… He's got that casual grace, customary "impatientness" and general heady rush of living a life more riotous than any drug. You could say that's one of the million things that drive the women in his life wild; he is _the_ Woman Magnet, along with water and trouble. 

But not my type. 

Who knows why, even I don't, and that's saying something. Probably one of the only things I don't know that I can't buy my way _into knowing. He's good at that too, making you second guess yourself. He does plenty of his own second-guessing and double-taking though, so it could be unintentional. With Ranma you can never be sure if he's either got some little stupid charming scheme, or if he's just an oblivious, blundering idiot who's too lucky sometimes for his own good._

Nope, definitely not my type. If I even have one. I prefer to take care of myself and let other people fall all over me, not the other way around. 

Well now, enough of that, to the point of your obvious interest. You couldn't have asked about Ranma without intending to find out what I think about the main influence in his life. And we all know who that is.

It is obvious Ranma cares for my little sister. Hell, a blind man could see that. Of course, a blind man could probably have him figured in a matter of minutes, Ranma is a rather simple fellow when it comes down to it. In fact, I'm sure he loves her. It's one of the few things I would bet my life on, and Tendo Nabiki does not make a bet she can't win. 

Living in the same house as an interesting creature such as Ranma teaches one a lot about human habit, and how different people react to different stimuli. Like I said, if there's one thing I would bet everything on, it is that Ranma is head-over-heels in love with my sister. He's not the first, but I can tell you another thing for sure; he's the only one for her. He may be a bit on the slow side, but he's not stupid enough to try and beat Akane in a fight in order to date her, and he's no Kuno. He's got brains, especially when it comes to strategy, and Kuno is its antithesis.

You'd think, then, if he's any good at strategy, he can tell her how he feels.

Now, would you care to bet any more than 100 yen on that statement, if that?

Silence follows of course, accompanied by a few snickers, I'm sure. If I could afford to drop my poker face, I'd be laughing too.

Sure, he can blame it all he likes on being dragged away from a normal life at age six and not being raised into normal social graces, but the real truth is, Ranma is, however frustratingly, very shy and doesn't know how to express love. It obviously terrifies him, like nothing else. Even more than cats, I assure you. 

I have a theory. In Ranma's life, nothing has ever been permanent. Always on the go, anyone he loved taken away from him. So it makes sense that permanence, especially in such a serious thing as admitting love, scares him. He is probably afraid he will lose Akane, the same way he had to give up his mother. 

And though I would never touch on this usually, he deserves my sister like no one else. Because he's human that way. He has fears and weaknesses and is more real than anyone who has pursued her, and I'm certain that's why she allows herself to be pursued so, even if it is under the premise of blind hatred.

There is no one else who Akane looks at that way, and the better part is he looks back the same way. 

They really are interesting to watch together. I've gathered some rather interesting data regarding human behavior just from observing them. 

On Akane, she is very confused about her femininity since mother died, lacking the influence. That is most likely the largest part of why she immersed herself so deeply in acting more like a boy since then. Ranma is something foreign and new and frightening for her. He brings out the side of her that has been ignored and forced back and hidden away all these years, the side whose smiles can make Ranma's knees weak, the side whose eyes share something special with him. 

Ranma, on the other hand, is dealing with some similar issues, but most of them are unique to him. The curse has always been an issue, and though people usually write it off as needless insecurity and say that he should be used to it by now, I find myself siding with him on this one. The curse is a very sensitive spot for him, and mostly now it's Akane's perception of him and his curse that gives him the most trouble, even though he should have realized that Akane has gotten over that. She was probably the most accepting of anyone in the end, but I think it was the beginning that scared him off. Back then, Ranma desperately needed a friend, and was only greeted with more chaos and disappointment that he wasn't – so we thought – a boy after all. I take the most flack from Akane regarding my actions then, and I am ashamed of them, now. But there's no fixing what's been done.  I'd like to think Ranma and I have patched things up since then. So, after that bathroom fiasco, although she never said anything about it again, both Ranma and Akane knew that her offer of friendship had been harshly withdrawn, and Ranma was much shyer and more uncertain in the beginning than anyone gives him credit for these days. Now, all he can do is withdraw behind faulty confidence and his sense of pride to replace what's missing in his life. 

And what he's missing is her. He never had her to begin with, and he didn't lose her (although he almost has, on the sporadic occasion), but she's the one thing he needs to be whole again, if he ever was. And lately he's been able to come out from behind some of those barriers and acknowledge that, and for that I am proud of him. It's taken longer than it should have, if you ask me, but I guess "There's no rushing these things," as Kasumi would scold me in her motherly way.

Today was an… interesting day… to say the least. Unless you consider Ranma possessing the ability to continuously shock me in one afternoon normal.

Earlier today I had gone into the kitchen to get myself some lemonade or something citrus-ish, and when I walked in, there was Ranma, sitting on the counter, a bottle of water in one hand, and his chin resting in the other, one leg hanging over the side of the cutting board. 

Now, there is absolutely nothing unusual about finding Ranma in the kitchen, but he isn't usually sprawled across the countertop. Needless to say, I was sort of curious. I gave him a look trademark look that is meant to imply 'Hey, doofus, I want some recognition or I want to kick you off that counter,' but he was staring off into space, and I do not like being ignored.

I waved a hand in front of his face. No reaction. I got a bit disgruntled and poked him in the shoulder. 

"Hm? Oh, hey Nabiki. What's up?" 

Such enthusiasm. I was overwhelmed.

"What are you doing all over the counter?" Well, it was true, he was literally all over it. "You're like spilt milk or something." Ooh, nice simile, I should use that in English Literature sometime. Hm, milk. Sounded just as good as lemonade, and I remembered we were probably out of citrus-ish drinks anyway. I rummaged in the fridge for the milk bottle. I wasn't looking at Ranma anymore, but I could almost feel him shrug in reply. I get the strong impression Ranma is about as strong a mental presence in this room as that moth ramming itself into the window.

Determined to be paid attention to, I hopped up onto the opposite counter, sitting Indian-style, and poured myself a glass of milk. I debated whether the milk might be more engrossing than the conversation I was supposedly sharing with my brother-in-law. Well, he's practically my brother-in-law. One way or another, he's going to end up married to a Tendo if his father and mine have to bind him hand and foot and drag him there. No, scratch that, I think they've tried that once. Or it might have been twice. Who's counting anymore?

"So, brother dear-" I was sure that would get him riled, which, I realized, had become my new goal. "-Why are you moping around anyhow? 'Penny for your thoughts." Man, I hate that stupid American saying with a violent passion.

Ranma snorted. "Excuse me for saying so, _sister_" - that was a nasty look he gave me, was he in a mood today or what – "but I'll turn down the American cash, thanks. What the hell would I spend it on? No wait, don't answer that," he added quickly. Damnit, this kid knows me too well for his own good.

Believe it or not, the two of us do stupid things like this on a regular basis. It's really quite sad. But let's just be American and call it bonding.

"Nice save, Saotome. Smooth. So, seriously, what's on your mind?" I really was curious by this point.

He sighed, and for half a second, I sympathized with him, whatever it was that was bothering him. I have got a soft spot for Ranma, he's just so damn helpless sometimes. For some reason, those women chasing after him day and night seem to find it endearing. 

"Nothing important."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Cut the crap, brother-_dear, and apologize." He's so __bad at lying._

Ranma just sat there with a rather dopey look on his face. "Apologize? What are you talking about?"

"To Akane? It's obvious you got into another fight today," I studied my nails casually.

"Actually, no," Ranma said frankly and I nearly fell off the counter. I suppose I should have been paying more attention, no one should be able to surprise me like that, _especially_ Ranma. He's about as predictable as a sack of frozen peas.

I tried to cover up my shock with another question. "Well then, what on earth is making you so damn depressed, anyway?"

"I'm not depressed," Ranma replied gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. Ok, so maybe I was mistaken the first time, but this one was really easy to see through. I hopped back off the counter and walked up close to him, and put my hands on his shoulders roughly. One of Ranma's issues is admitting how he feels, right? So, talking loudly to each other across the kitchen was no good. He looked at me, slightly surprised.

"Maybe you're not depressed, but I can tell you aren't yourself," I said more softly than sounded normal for me. "So you didn't have a fight today. That's probably what's bothering you, right? That sounds weird, I know, but I think you know how to deal with Akane better when she's having a fit. She's predictable when she's in a temper. But when you two get along, when things quiet down for a bit, it reminds you how you feel about her, doesn't it? And that scares you. I know-" I held up a finger to silence him, I knew he was going to deny that he was afraid of anything, especially not that kawaikune tomboy, or something along those lines. "I know you care about Akane. Very much. Would it really be so bad to tell her how you feel? She'd like to hear it, I know she would. Because she cares about you too, believe it or not. Besides, everyone around here is getting sick and tired of you guys dancing around each other all the time. If you love her like I know you do, then tell her! For the sake of my sanity, at least."

Then, Ranma did it again. He shocked the hell out of me.

Instead of saying something, denying everything as usual, he leaned over and hugged me.

I sort of went stiff, if I remember correctly. I think all these shocks to my system had slightly addled my brain by the time I sat down at my desk to write this to you now. I guess that was why I hugged him back.

Maybe he's as starved for affection as I am myself. After all, he had been deprived of a mother for the majority of his life, Genma wasn't exactly the fatherly type, and trekking the road for ten years probably never helped any in that department. 

Note to self: Treat Ranma just a bit better. He's a good man.

Not too much better, don't want him getting any ideas, as ridiculous as that may sound.

After a minute or two we pulled apart and just stared at each other. What was there to say? It seemed we had reached some sort of mutual understanding. Ranma just smiled. One of those oh-so-genuinely-Ranma, charming smiles that made that fiasco where I bought him off Akane all the more interesting.

Don't get me wrong, I stand by what I said before. Not my type.

I turned slightly, intending on returning to that glass of milk, and froze again.

Kasumi is in the kitchen.

Panic. Panicking is not a traditionally Tendo Nabiki practice, but I thought to myself that now was probably a good a time as ever.

She just smiled her lovely, calm smile, and for some reason when she does that things make more sense. 

So I decided I wouldn't make much of it.

Now I am standing out in the hall, leaning against Akane's door, eavesdropping. Nothing new there. The only reason I'm out of my room, instead of watching my monitors and listening in on my microphones that I've rigged in her room, is because most of that equipment is incapacitated since stupid, large, wet pandas have a nasty habit of dripping water all over it when they choose to invade my room.

I am eavesdropping, my dear journal - writing in you who I am resting on my knee as I prop my leg up against the wall – because Ranma is in there with her.

Kasumi walks by behind me in the hall, humming innocently and dusting things that don't need to be. She gives me a reprimanding look, noticing my foot on the wall. No need to worry, I've got her number. I know she's listening just as intently as I am. 

But that's a story for another day, and another 50 000 yen. 

Besides, the couple behind this door is far too interesting.

"You know, Akane, it's taken way too long and way too many stupid things happening to get just this far," I can hear Ranma say, but I can tell by his voice he is smiling. 

"Your point?" Akane asks curiously, and I can almost see them together on the other side of the door, their legs tangled together on the wrinkled butter yellow sheets.

"Meaning you're worth all the trouble anyhow."

I lied, you could say, if you had a chance of beating me in court.

I have got a camera running. But there isn't enough yen in this world to buy a tape of their first kiss. Never thought you'd hear Tendo Nabiki call something "priceless," now did you?

Let's just say some surprises are worth the wait.

Finis.

A/N: Well you know me, crazy ol' Rain, always trying to outsmart her readers. Thought I'd try something new, as I tend to say. And a Nabiki-narrated fic is about as different from my usual thing as it can get. 

Naturally, I hope it doesn't suck, don't flame me if it does, lol. I worked hard on it and I hope you like it.

Fanfiction: For the fans, by the fans who never sleep, so the fans who read it don't sleep either! Amen to that! *dances around her computer* Ok, enough of that.

My creepyoldmanwink email filled up, so I've got a new one at pixel_revolution@speedpost.net

Email me with whatever you'd like! I love to hear from you!

Lavender Gaia: I'm sorry, I haven't emailed you in forever! I'm such a lazy ass! Gomen!

Same goes to FireLily! Gomen nasai! Don't hate me, I'm a crazily busy girl, but that's no excuse!

Ja minna, I told you I'd be back! *whips off her Arnold Schwarzenegger sunglasses* Boy, I'm hyper today! Someone slap me silly before it's too late.

Until the next time!

::Rain


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